My web hosting service just recently charged me another year for csays.co. I knew it was coming because they sent me countless emails beforehand. But after receiving the email receipt I’ve been thinking about how I’ve dropped the ball with my blog. I started csays.co a whole year ago and the big plans I wanted to achieve within that year were not reached. Goals like design, writing posts OFTEN, promoting it on social media, getting the readership up, way up.
I have a hard time prioritizing my time. When I’m off from work, those days off are never really days off. The tedious tasks that come with being an adult take up time. When I dedicate time to myself it usually starts with applying for writing jobs, which means changing my cover letter for each position or applying through company websites. When I’ve looked the day is almost over. By then I’m not even in a writing vibe (writers know how it goes, the magic cannot be forced).
Another element is spending hours listening to new music, I’m a music journalist this is a must. Or I’m reading countless articles online mostly about music but also any and everything. There are some days when I say “Chenae you are going to write and publish a blog post today.” I have every intention of doing that but when I’ve spent so much time on the things I mentioned after I just want to laze around. Or what usually happens is I’ll start my day with writing a post, go to do something else and not get back to it.
Since becoming a duty manager at my job it has required me to work more hours and have fewer days off. I’ve now been spending more time working at a place I hate and not having the time to do things I love. More importantly I haven’t been dedicating the little time I have to forge out the life I want.
I may sound like I’m making excuses but it’s not that. Life happens and things get in the way. Sometimes I feel like I’m not using my time on the right things, which has to change. Or as I said I’m not prioritizing properly because csays.co should be at the top of the list. I’ve let other parts of my life hold me back from making the blog great, when it has the potential to be.
I over think about this a lot. I am working to live in London. Working a job I despise to have the money to be able to live in London. To live in London and achieve my goals yet the ‘working to live here’ has got in the way of the reason why I am doing that- if that makes sense. The true hustle cannot stop, I will not stop.
I’m ashamed and embarrassed to see that I haven’t blogged since February. That’s 3 months too long. For most of those three months I have been extremely busy with an internship, but more about that in my next post.
-C