** I wrote this a week after Notting Hill Carnival and was commissioned for an online publication but unfortunately the editor didn’t get to it in time and it was too late to publish, thus it’s on the blog.
“I’m not going to the carnival this year.” The statement I repeatedly said to my friends and myself in the weeks and days leading up to the infamous Notting Hill Carnival.
Since its establishment, Notting Hill Carnival has been a celebration of Caribbean culture. People are playing mas to the sounds of soca, calypso, reggae and dancehall with huge crowds flooding to streets to watch, join in the party and feting their lives away. Beyond the parade of bands, other roads are full of people dancing to different sound systems found from street to street. While there are stages of fun times throughout the day the one aspect that was a deterrent for me going this year is the sexual aggression by men. Every year I’ve experienced unwanted attention and forms of sexual assault that are violating and overshadow the feting fun. But a last-minute decision led to me to change my mind and still went to the carnival last week Monday.
Before I was even on the train to Notting Hill an encounter with some young men quickly reminded about the kind of invasion I’m talking about. After asking this group of 5 for a bottle opener it quickly turned into an uncomfortable situation. As they spoke unpleasantly I noticed the predatorial look in their eyes. To them I was this piece of meat, prey they were ready to pounce on. After mistakenly telling them I was meeting my friends at carnival one of them said “oh you’re alone, you’re coming with us” and put his arm around my waist forcing me down the stairs to the station. I broke from his grip and watched them run through the tube barriers without paying. They called out for me to do the same but I stayed in the queue to top up hoping they wouldn’t wait for me, which they didn’t.
This is the same overt possessiveness I experience at Notting Hill Carnival. But I go back every year since I’ve lived in London. Why? Because I’m an island gal who loves to shake my little bumpa from time to time. I should be able to exert my power as a woman to go and do what I want without letting untamed men stop me.
While Carnival is a celebration of West Indian culture there is a macho aspect that quickly turns predatorily and assaulting. Men, boys even come right up in your face, grope you, whisper lewd messages in your ear, and are aggressive when you dismiss their advances. I’ve watched one guy come up to my friend, pinch her nipple and walk away. I’ve had my butt slapped only to turn around and find the culprit jolting in the opposite direction. Cussed men out who don’t take a hint and then feel intimated by their hostile reaction. I’m sure other women have had similar experiences. The entitled attitude displayed is threatening and a violation of women’s consent and I haven’t even talked about dancing yet.
When you’re dancing with someone, you are both whining in the same motion together- whining on each other. To outsiders looking in this is vulgar and sexual but for us this is natural. It’s a dance- nothing more nothing less. When playing mas consent to whine isn’t needed. It’s normal for men to come whine on a woman or a woman to start whining on him. No one asks because it’s assumed this dance is consensual which it usually is. We’re all there to be wukkin up.
A little whine never hurt nobody.
One thing that is bothersome is the reaction if a woman does not want to whine with a man. She’s labeled stush or a prude. Yes it’s carnival and women are all looser than lucy on this day, but that doesn’t mean we want to dance with every man who approaches us. Sometimes I have a solo whining routine ready or want to push it back with my girls, or I just don’t want to dance with someone. That doesn’t mean I’m not there to have a good time. Any reactions whether violent or angry is inappropriate, move on to the next girl. If I do not want a man touching or dancing on me and speak up about it I’m not being uptight, I’m exerting my right to say no- respect that.
Carnival, whether it’s in London, Trinidad, Barbados or where I’m from in Bermuda is meant to be a fun day where everyone is letting go. It stops being a cultural celebration of music and dance when women face unwanted attention by men that is essentially sexual assault. Just because we are freeing up doesn’t mean women are down for everything. My attendance at carnival is not approval for men to do as they please if I’m not down for it.
Let’s be clear, this is not an attack on Notting Hill Carnival. While mainstream media wrongly puts emphasis on violent acts there due to the blackness of the event sexual assault and violence of course happens at other predominately white festivals but we do not hear about them. There is not much difference to this aggression. My stance is to not bash carnival but to tell what I’ve seen and experienced from my perspective as a person who loves island culture. Women and island gals especially are there to partake because we want to have a good time and not be berated by men who cannot control their selves.
-C