My friend recently put me on to the show Master of None. I know I’m very late to the party as it aired over a year ago but I have to write about one episode in particular. While I find each episode relatable not just to me but most working millennials, episode 7 “Ladies and Gentleman” was one that really resonated with me.
In the episode Rachel and Dev’s friend Denise school Dev about the daily sexist encounters women go through. It starts with Dev and Arnold at a bar. The opening scene contrasts with a woman at the same bar who gets hit on by a man giving her a shot she never asked for. As Dev and Arnold leave the bar so does the woman. She’s walking home alone, you see her not totally on edge but alert of her surroundings, looking back every so often, even pressing 911 on her phone. Then the guy from the bar sees her and follows her all the way home banging on on the woman’s door, pleading for her to give him a chance, admitting to being a “nice guy.”
As I’m watching this I’m hardly in shock. If you are surprised when I say this happens often to women, don’t be. The point of this scene is made perfectly without anyone having to comment what is happening here. It’s a blunt acknowledgment of the BS women go through all the time, and more importantly shows the ignorance of men and the privilege “nice guys” think they’re entitled to.
Maybe not all women get followed home but every woman has had to deal with unwanted, unflattering, sometimes aggressive gestures from creepy men. This puts us on guard regularly. My friends and I have all experienced strange encounters with men. In London we’ve all been followed whilst walking home alone by a man trying to talk to us. We try and rationalize that London is a big city so this man sees a pretty woman and has to make his move because he may never see her again. But the way most men try and make their move is not correct and borderline sexually offensive.
I’m not talking about sexual predators, though granted some are, but this applies to men who do not understand boundaries and do not realize they are coming off predatorily. There isn’t a fine line between trying to compliment or talk to a woman and being an outright inappropriate. The line is bold and clear as day, but men ignore it because they feel they are entitled and dismiss women’s liberty and basic rights. Men stop doing it. A woman isn’t ignoring, giving irritable glares or saying “f off” to you because she’s playing hard to get and trying to challenge you. She wants to be left alone.
I read this article on Refinery 29 Why Men Should Never Hit On a Woman Who Is Wearing Headphones and couldn’t agree with it more. This is yet another example of how a woman’s space is invaded by a man trying to seek her attention. The article is in response to another entitled How To Talk To Women Who Are Wearing Headphones written by a self proclaimed “dating expert for men”. The article is disturbing and enhances the thought that dehumanizes women as only submissive objects.
I’ve mentioned only two instances of blatant degrees of sexist behaviors. But sometimes it’s not always that obvious. I know most men are not actively trying to harm or manipulate women but some need to be aware that their casually presumptuous attitudes are just as offensive and hurt the most, but that is a post for another time.
-C