Nostalgia is a triggering and sometimes peculiar experience. How one simple instant can transport you back to a place in your life has always been fascinating to me. A memory so vivid with people who have changed or are no longer in your life, thoughts or emotions we no longer have, doing things we can’t imagine doing now. It’s not a longing for the past but often a bittersweet reliving of our former selves at a cherished time. Music’s ability to cause nostalgia is powerful. The moving memories recalled in our brain as a song plays shows how much we are meant to feel as we listen.
I’ve been listening to Khalid’s Teenage Dream a lot lately and last weekend felt a surge of emotions about my 18/19-year-old self. The album is another favorite of mine from this year. No matter how often l listen to the songs I find myself going to it on days when I’m stuck in the middle of wanting to feel too much or nothing at all. Such doesn’t seem possible or maybe is emotionally irresponsible but the whole album is a good balance of blitheness and burden but not too much if you don’t allow it to be.
The first time I listened to Teenage Dream I thought what does this kid know about love and heartbreak. Khalid is 19 yet he sings with a sensitivity to deep emotions. At 19 I was more the girl Khalid describes in “Cold-Blooded”. I wasn’t in a relationship or in love although my sister and my friends were. I’ve never doubted their emotions weren’t true and while I first questioned Khalid’s I thought how diminishing his feelings would be lessening my friends from that period in their life as well. A lot of people say teenagers are too young to be in love. My favorite answer to that comes from an interlude on The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. It’s a different love but that doesn’t make it less real.
The subjects he sings about aren’t foreign to any of us. The dating or relationship game isn’t much different because everyone feels love and it’s painful or blissful accompaniments. I think that’s why I enjoy this album so much because it takes me back to times to I want to forget or savor thinking about and moments I can relate to now.
When I listen to Khalid’s songs and hear the natural sincerity in his tone I feel his emotion. His voice is refreshing and tender enough to absorb. The lyrics he sings are at times gripping, you get lost in them. A lot of the songs flow on the feeling love brings, from falling or breaking in it, missing someone, or the infatuation of new love. In essence, the album is about the defining moments before adulthood- all the things most of us experience as teenagers that add to our maturity. He sings with an adolescent naiveté and jollity in his songs that shows a teenager going through the motions and learning from it all.
It reminds me of my life at that age. “Young, Dumb, Broke,” “Let’s Go”, and “8TEEN” took me back to the carefreeness I felt when I was in my late teens. Coming from a fairly strict home I couldn’t wait to turn 18 because it symbolized that I wasn’t a child anymore and didn’t have to answer to my parents. Boy was I wrong. The error in judgment didn’t stop me from what I thought at that time was living life to the fullest. I wouldn’t say I went totally crazy like some sheltered teenagers do but I had my share of careless moments- I’d spare the details. These songs remind me how untroubled life was then. At 18 we’re finishing high school and either going to college or working but for the most part still figuring life out.
Let’s do all the stupid shit that young kids do.
The album’s theme of living in the moment makes me question when did I stop doing that. Because I’m in my 20’s, live on my own, got bills to pay, and setting the foundation for next years to come? I think we can get lost in the goals and expectations we have for ourselves. The older we get, the more responsibilities we have and every day is meant for reaching the next step. Once we reach there we’re on to the next level. It is a constant never ending cycle. It’s hard not to be consumed by this but it’s a shame if we let this depletion happen. Who wants to live a life taking anything for granted? Our younger selves can help us not to. That’s why being nostalgic can be a good thing because the perspective and reassurance found in those moments of time travel remind us to still be young, wild and free at heart while looking forward to future with maturity and wisdom we didn’t have before.
-C