Kid Cudi and The Lonely Listeners

It is Kid Cudi’s birthday today! He is 33 years old. As a devoted fan, it saddens me to read about his struggles, especially of recent. So today all I’m listening to is Scott Mescudi because I’m happy for his growth, that he’s still trying to overcome his demons and is able to see another year of life. (You’d think I know him right?)

As I’m listening to Cudi today a thought came to my mind that never has before:

I wish I knew more Kid Cudi fans.

It’s kind of a contradiction I would wish that because one of the reasons I love Cudi is because most people don’t understand or can’t connect to his music. Also because his music centers on loneliness and it’s him I play when I want to be alone or when I feel the most lonely or sad. However I wish I knew more people who felt the same about Cudder as I do.  I understand we are into whatever we’re into and Kid Cudi is not one for some. I think his sonic journeying is probably what deters most from him. But oh if they would really listen, the gems you will hear. Not to mention Cudi is what to play when you want to reach a higher place.

Passion, Pain & Demon Slayin came out and I only had one person to talk about with. In fact this year, I’ve only talked about Cudi to that same person. Those conversations are just wonderful because they’re the “you get it” type of talks. When I told my best friend Chyna (who put me onto Cudi), she wasn’t enthused about listening and said he’s changed. Granted he has, but let’s not judge him from Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven.

Passion, Pain & Demon Slayin gave that Scott fans fell in love with. It’s reminiscent of his Man on the Moon days but he is more hopeful. I listened to that album and wanted to talk about his progression, especially because of the hard times he’s been so open about. Although the pain remains, its passing and we hear Cudi face his demons in way he haven’t heard him before.

Also I wish this because I know what his music has meant to me and how his songs have helped me. I’ve never been severely depressed, but have experienced alienation and loneliness since my teenage years. During high school I had a good amount of friends. I still have a small group of forever friends but have always felt like the nerdy/loner/odd one of the bunch. I felt alone a lot of times which is why I grasped to Kid Cudi from the first time I heard his music.

Although the themes he raps about are mostly dark, he is also empowering and inspiring.In fact Cudi’s main desire for his music is for it to help kids not feel alone. He talked about that a while ago on Arsenio Hall’s talk show.

I remember one low point in my life was the summer of 2010 when I wasn’t selected for two scholarships I had been shortlisted for. It was then that I realized I wouldn’t be going to university in the fall like I planned. After reading the rejection email, I sat out on the beach alone playing REVOFEV over and over.  Cudi telling us to “cheer up kids, there is light at the end of the tunnel” was a dose of reassuring I needed.

I know other Cudi fans have dealt with much heavier things than my “poor island girl didn’t go to college on time” sob story. I think it’s a beautiful thing when I’m able to connect with someone over  music and talk about what music means to them. I want more of it. Any Kid Cudi fans out there?

-C

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